Songtexte: Larry The Cable Guy. Twisted christmas carols.

These are famous Christmas Carols I know it aint Christmas but i'm goin to do these Christmas carols these is good american patriotic christmas carols and god bless america and thanks for comin so:



Get a job you bum bum bum

Money dont grow on trees you bum bum bum.



Silent farts

Deadly farts

All was calm

Not fer long



Oh come on illegal foreigners

Come and get dem green cards

And learn some damn english

And den how to drive



I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car

I wish my mother-in-law get hit by a car



So I dont have to hear her

Bitch



Blue balls

Blue balls

Its dollar night at the titty club

See them dance, on my pants


Soon it will be bathroom time



You better watch out, I think shes a guy

I aint quite sure but somethin aint right

Hilary Clinton's comin to town



Donny the Retard had an eight pound water head

He was five-foot three

And he said to me

My name's Donny



The first queer Santa Claus

Wore red-leather chaps

And a pair of white shorty-shorts that had a hole in the back



I pissed my pants

The toilet was just too far

I drunk too much damn beer

I tried to hold it in

But my bladder just gave in

And i pissed right through my drawers

Right through my Wrangler drawers

I pissed, I pissed my Wrangler drawers



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