Songtexte: Todd Snider. Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, everybody

There's an overweight man with an overweight woman
On a sofa watching TV
He's yelling his opinion at the television
She looks up from her food and agrees

They got two bumper stickers on there pick up truck
They keep the pick up parked outside
One sticker says, "What would Jesus do?"
The other bumper sticker says, "Power of pride"

I was thumbing through the stations on my own television
When I come across a guy on this religious station
Singing, "Somebody's coming"
He's sounding whiter than me somehow

Wow, it took me back in time through dwindling joy
To when I was such a guilt ridden Catholic boy
I'm evangelical agnostic now

I don't know what we're doing here
You don't know what we're doing here

Now Christians don't walk out on me just yet
You know whose name I'll be yelling as I'm clutching my chest
The one my dad told me to and his told him to
And I probably pray as much or more than you do

Believing shit, every word I sing
But believing and knowing, those are two different things
And if your trying to change the way a strangers life will have to go
I believe this is where I wanna stick to what I know

Which is nothing you know, nothing for sure
So just chill till the next episode

Now back to the lecture at hand
Seems like my neighbor wants to kill what he can't understand
I say we can't just kill what we don't understand
But I turn on my TV and see that, oh, yeah, we can

We can and we have since then dawn of man
For countless gods whose only real seeming plan
Was to see to it that clinging to life was our fate
And you gotta admit that life's pretty great

But can we deny that it's killing us?
I'll be here all week

Happy New Year, everybody
Happy Birthday country joe
I resolve to do like I always do
I ain't hurtin' you

If life is anything it's embarrassing
A rusty nail through, a careless shoe
You can't help but sit around and wonder sometimes
Why there's never anything the nail can do

Or think about how unfair it is
That the shoe is always going where it's got to
If you ain't the dumb kid out running around
You kinda gotta do what you're born to do

Hey, happy new year, everybody
And specifically Happy Birthday to you country joe
I resolve to do what I always do
And I only ever make it a day or two