Songtexte: Stephen Lynch. The Craig Machine. Beelz.

(Intro)
I figured since I wrote a song about you know God and Jesus and all that I would have to give the opposition equal time.

(Song)
Ever since first man has walked this Earth I have been here
To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear
I am the beast, the outcast angel fallen from on high
I go by many names by there is one you cannot deny
My name is Satan, hi everybody!
Ahh, let me tell you a little about myself
My friends all call me old scratch and I am a Capricorn
My turn ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn
I've got little devil horns, and a little Goatee,
little devil eyes to help a little devil see
little cloven hoofs that make it kinda hard to ski
I'm Satan, Woo Hoo!

Mephistopheles

My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz
I love to watch Fox news and then go club some baby seals
Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a Zinfandel
Try to wash off that baby seal smell
And then I'll make a toast to me

Hey, here's to my hell..
Th? My name is Satan. Ah Hah!

To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son
And now he makes his living as a singing comedian
I'm in every Zeppelin album
I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants
I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance

And if I want to eat your soul, I'll just throw it on a griddle.
I don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle
And fuck Charlie Daniels I don't care if he can fiddle
I'm Satan.

The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal
That's fucking bullshit because I wouldn't be caught dead in Georgia
Ok, it's like Oh my God!
Six, Six, Six!

(outro)
Satan! Look, that's just how I picture him. You fucking think of whatever you want.