Songtexte: The Lancashire Hotpots. Dolby 5.1.

Well I've always been the first round here
To have the latest gadgets
and the bestest gear
Me tele were the biggest of them all

But the bloke who lived next door to me
He went and won the lottery
He got five numbers and the bloomin' bonus ball

He's a jammy sod
He were at bingo last week got three lines

Well I weren't dead jealous
'cos he blew the lot
He invited us round to see what he'd got
And when I popped in me jaw it hit the floor

He had so much stuff it made me one to vomit
It looked like he'd gone and ram raided Comet
I went into his house and this is what I saw

He had a plasma tele and a Dolby 5.1
He had a stereo that were Bang & Olufsen
His satellite was Sky HD
Every room had a PS3
He had a plasma tele and a Dolby 5.1

Without a word of a lie I'm telling the truth
Even his fridge had Bluetooth
It were wi-fi this and hard disk Blu-ray that

He had a lobster phone
And it were fab
He could watch Jeremy Kyle sat on the lav
I'm suprised he didn't wi-fi up the cat
(Miaow!)
It's a bit, It's a bit too far to be honest
Technologies taking over!

Well his bedroom had a projection TV
It were like home electronics hour on QVC
He'll buy out now just because he can
I say's I've never seen one of them before
He said don't spread it around but that's a Playstation 4
They're hard to get hold of but (click) I know a bloke in Japan
He's from the East!

He had a plasma tele and a Dolby 5.1
He had a stereo that were Bang & Olufsen
His satellite was Sky HD
Every room had a PS3
He had a plasma tele and a Dolby 5.1

Come on kids here we go get it up

KIDS:
He had a plasma tele and a Dolby 5.1
He had a stereo that were Bang & Olufsen
His satellite was Sky HD
Every room had a PS3
He had a plasma tele and a Dolby 5.1

BACKGROUND:
Sing for your supper it's rice pudding tonight
Spoon of jam in the middle
Goes pink when you stir it
Beautiful
Hypnotic
Go on kids give it to em
sing for your grandad
He'll hear you
he's only in the care home down the road!